Two World Wars, One World Cup, and a German to Save England: Why Thomas Tuchel is Exactly What the Three Lions Need
It’s the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, and an Englishman, in an MTN commercial, is teaching his son the proudest anthem of them all, “Two World Wars and one World Cup, England, England!” with the kind of gusto only the English can muster.
Then, just as they step into an elevator filled with German fans, the song dies on his lips, and as if scripted by the football gods, his son picks it up again. The father covers the boy’s mouth like he’s stifling the beginnings of a riot. It’s funny, awkward, and slightly ominous, considering what happens later in that tournament.
The England-Germany rivalry—it’s got everything: war, ghost goals, and revenge. The peak, of course, was Geoff Hurst’s “was it or wasn’t it?” goal in 1966 that denied Germany a World Cup win and handed England their only slice of footballing glory. Fast forward to 2010, and karma arrived in the shape of Manuel Neuer, who coolly flicked away a ball that had clearly crossed the line, denying England a crucial equalizer. As if history was saying, “Yeah, about that 1966 goal… we’re even now.”
So here we are in 2024, with the footballing gods having a laugh again, appointing a German—Thomas Tuchel—to lead England after Gareth Southgate gracefully bowed out. And the English fans? Well, they’re not exactly singing from the rooftops. After all, appointing a German to run the Three Lions feels a bit like inviting a fox to guard the henhouse, doesn’t it? But here’s the thing: Tuchel might just be the perfect man to lead England to glory, and not in the awkward, ironic way we’re used to.
Tuchel’s Tactical Genius: More Than Just a Stereotype
The typical image of German efficiency is something you’d associate with industrial machines or clockwork. And Thomas Tuchel? Well, he’s kind of a footballing version of that. But he’s also much more than just a high-pressing, gegenpressing maestro. At Chelsea, Tuchel took a team that was leaking goals like a broken dam and turned them into European champions in less than six months. Now, you might ask, “What does this have to do with England?” Quite a lot, actually.
You see, England’s problem isn’t talent. They’ve got enough to fill three starting elevens and still have some left over to send out on loan. The issue has always been how to fit those pieces together, something Southgate struggled with in the end. Tuchel, though, thrives on taking chaos and imposing structure on it. He’s the guy who walks into a room full of tangled wires and somehow leaves with a perfectly functioning home cinema system.
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His Chelsea team showcased tactical flexibility at its finest. This adaptability is something England desperately needs. Under Southgate, England often felt predictable, their formations rigid, their creativity stifled. Tuchel, on the other hand, treats formations like a toddler treats Lego blocks—constantly rearranging them to suit the situation.
Positional Play: England’s New Approach to Creativity
Remember how Southgate often parked the proverbial bus when England came up against top teams? Tuchel doesn’t believe in that. His philosophy is all about positional play—dominating space and controlling the game. Under Tuchel, the likes of Trent Alexander-Arnold won’t just be defenders; they’ll be playmakers. Gone are the days when England’s best players are asked to do mundane jobs.
Tuchel’s England will likely see players occupying specific zones, dragging opponents out of position and creating space for players like Phil Foden and Bukayo Saka to exploit. It’s a far cry from the rigid, defense-first approach that has often “held England back”. Think of it like a game of chess, but instead of pawns trudging along, you’ve got knights and bishops zig-zagging across the board, outsmarting the opposition at every turn.
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And speaking of positional play, let’s not forget Tuchel’s use of wing-backs at Chelsea. Reece James- when he’s not doing his best impression of a hospital patient- and Ben Chilwell became crucial to his system, marauding forward and causing havoc. England, with its abundance of talented full-backs, could benefit massively from this approach.
Imagine Kieran Trippier and Luke Shaw, or Alexander-Arnold and Ben White, constantly bombarding down the flanks, pulling defenders wide and creating space for the likes of Harry Kane to roam freely in the middle.
Pressing with Purpose: The Tuchel Way
One thing you can expect to see with Tuchel at the helm is England pressing higher up the pitch. Southgate’s England often sat back, content to absorb pressure and hit teams on the counter. Tuchel doesn’t play that way. His teams press with a purpose—aggressively, intelligently, and as a unit.
You’ll rarely see a lone striker chasing down defenders like a headless chicken. Instead, under Tuchel, the press is coordinated, a symphony of pressure that forces mistakes and wins the ball back in dangerous areas.
Take Chelsea’s Champions League win in 2021 as an example. They pressed teams into submission, cutting off passing lanes and forcing errors. Players like Declan Rice and Jude Bellingham, who are already fantastic ball-winners, will become even more important in Tuchel’s system. Their ability to break up play and launch counter-attacks will be key to England’s success.
Adapting England’s Attack: From Predictability to Fluidity
England’s attack under Southgate, while effective at times, often felt predictable. There was too much reliance on set plays or moments of individual brilliance from Kane or Bellingham. Tuchel, however, excels at creating fluid, dynamic attacks. His teams move in unison, interchanging positions and creating overloads in wide areas.
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For England, this means the likes of Jack Grealish, Saka, and Foden could thrive in a system where they’re not just limited to playing in fixed positions. Tuchel’s Chelsea, for instance, saw players like Kai Havertz and Mason Mount constantly drifting into different areas of the pitch, confusing defenders and creating space for others. Kane, often criticized for dropping too deep, will have the freedom to play as a true number nine or drop into midfield when necessary, safe in the knowledge that runners like Saka and Foden will take advantage of the space he vacates
Defensive Solidity: The Bedrock of Tuchel’s Success
One thing you can’t deny about Tuchel is his ability to build solid defenses. Under him,England’s defense could be transformed. His use of a back three could allow England to play with more security, while also giving them the flexibility to switch to a back four when needed.
A back three of Stones, White, and Maguire (or Guehi) could provide the platform for England to play out from the back while keeping things tight defensively. And let’s not forget the importance of the goalkeeper in Tuchel’s system. Jordan Pickford’s distribution, often overlooked, will be crucial to launching attacks quickly, something Tuchel will undoubtedly look to exploit.
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Why He Might Be a German Experiment Gone Wrong
Now, let’s not get too carried away. Tuchel might be a genius, but he’s also been known to implode spectacularly. His relationship with Chelsea’s board was as smooth as England’s penalty record. He’s had spats with players, too, and English tabloids live for that kind of drama.
And let’s be honest, England’s defense isn’t exactly known for its grace under pressure. Sure, John Stones is a ball-playing center-back, but can he and Harry Maguire cope with the high defensive line that Tuchel loves? Or are we looking at a potential disaster waiting to happen? England fans might have nightmares of Maguire trying to play out from the back while being pressed by a fast, ruthless opponent. Shades of Iceland anyone?
And don’t even get me started on the English media. If Tuchel doesn’t hit the ground running, they’ll eat him alive. The tabloids already have headlines ready:”Tuchel Crashes Like the Wall of Jericho”- you can see it coming. England might have embraced foreign managers before, but a German leading them? That’s a whole different level of scrutiny.
There is also an big question is whether Tuchel’s defensive philosophy—built on precise positioning and relentless work rate—can be effectively implemented with England’s current squad. It’s one thing to coach a defense in the Premier League with endless training sessions; it’s another to do it in the compressed timeline of international football.
The Endgame: Tuchel’s England Could Finally Get Over the Line
Let’s face it: England fans are tired of coming close. The 2018 World Cup semi-final, the 2021 Euro final, the 2024 Euro heartbreak—they’ve all been cruel reminders of how close yet how far England are from footballing glory. But Tuchel’s appointment could be the turning point. His tactical flexibility, his ability to adapt, and his knack for getting the best out of his players make him the perfect man to lead England into the 2026 World Cup and the 2028 Euros.
Sure, there will be jokes about the irony of a German leading England to glory, but isn’t that part of the beauty of football? The same way England’s 1966 ghost goal haunted Germany until Neuer’s 2010 ‘non-goal’ incident, maybe Tuchel is here to flip the script.
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In the end, it might just be a German who leads England to their second World Cup. And when that happens, perhaps that father from the MTN ad will finally sing “Two World Wars and two World Cups” without hesitation.
By: Tobi Peter / @keepIT_tactical
Featured Image: @GabFoligno / Getty Images